Moving towards Sundsvall

Moving towards Sundsvall
Originally uploaded by suecae sounds.

I've gotten myself a flickr-account to satisfy my photographic interest. I will share nature photography, street-photo and someday, maybe, portraits of people I like.

This photo was taken in the back-seat of a car while travelling to Sundsvall. Shot using my new pentax camera.

Love rules supreme

There are so many reasons why hard-hitting house musician Benny Benassi creates such a lovely vibe in me. Maybe it's the straightforwardness of what some may call unintelligent dance music. Maybe it's the lyrics about love and letting go of the shit of everyday life. But what is most important is the intensity and emotional release I feel when I listen to his music.

Even if you do not like his now oldish Satisfaction video, which was even more provocative then the porno hip hop of that day, his music is so much bigger then that. I mean, what the fuck, why not show some integrity and let go of selling on sex (with porn-refrences that is). The music is so brilliant that it would have attracted a following without the xxx.

When a girl sings "everything is going to get better", or "I wanna scream unto the world today. Turn me up, turn me down", over and over again, I feel IT. Period. With or without the sometimes explicit videos, this is music that has the intensity to move me.

"My love is not your toy."
Hit My Heart - Benny Benassi

Fresh electronica

What I listen to now:

Seathasky - Exist EP
released by monotonik net label.

With just three short tracks of electronica the artist Seathasky, also known as Blisaed, reminds me of the best monotonik has offered for the last few years. As with all music that is relevant, I think Seathhasky has something special to tell. This is melodic electronica with touches of intelligent dance music. But genres doesen't matter, just get the ep and lay your head down. It reminds me of the indie-electronica wizard Hunz earlier releases on mp3.com a couple of years ago. All very, very good.

The light at the end of the tunnel

The words of the now gone Gonzo-journalist Hunter S. Thompson came as a sort of revelation yesterday. In the novel and film "Fear and loathing in Las Vegas" the main character pauses to reflect over the 60's.

In the drug-induced state of mind that was Thompsons, he managed to see that part of the tragedy of the 60's generation was the hope that "somebody, somewhere is guarding the light at the end of the tunnel". Instead of the better world that was the dream of a generation, there came a tomorrow that was not better then that of the previous day. Thompsons thoughts made sense to me.

A couple of years ago I lived in a gay relationship where I was frequently abused. At the end of the day, I really wished that someone would come and rescue me. Rescue me from him, and rescue me from myself. That someone, not myself, would be my knight in shining armor. First I thought that HE was my knight. And that our meeting would reflect some sort of deeper meaning in my life. Instead, I was told that I was worthless, time and time again, after our sweet scented honey-moon months. I was even told that I should die.

What strike me today was that my sort of religious thinking was trapping me in a situation whish only made me worse. I thought that I had to stay, that there had to be a meaning to it all. That he needed me. That I had to sacrifice. For those who may hold a Christian outlook on things, this may make sense. I realize today that there is a disturbing potential of the religion that preaches the love of Christ to bottom out in emotional masochism. You sacrifice, not for the greater good, but because you think yourself worthless. You stay in your relationship because of feelings of guilt and get hurt in the process. Under the guise of love you get oppression.

"“So I am left to pick upp the little hints, the little symbols, of your devotion.

I feel your fist, and I know it is out of love.

And I feel the whip, and I know it is out of love.

And I feel your burning eyes, burning holes straight trough my heart.

And I know it is out of love."

- Anthony and the Johnsons

For me back then there was only the unbearable hell of everyday life. The light at the end of the tunnel soon became a black hole swallowing all my dignity and self-esteem. I was desperate to belive in something, and readily available to be abused if someone provided this.

Today I am a bit older. A bit less naive. I hurt, but I am alive. All of these thoughts and feelings, affected by my history, is something I try to reflect when I create music. Whether it is techno or acoustic music. It is all a reflection of who I am. With all the flaws that I have.

Jag som ingenting redux

Jag som ingenting have gotten a remix treatment. The changes are subtle, but the track feels better nevertheless.

Suecae sounds - Jag som ingenting

It has been quiet here for a while. I'm sorry about that. The reasons are mostly due to various private issues that needs time to be adressed. I've not given up on the power of music though. It's there for all of us to take part in.